- a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.
I have a confession. I’m a recovering perfectionist.
I used to wear that badge with happiness. I would tell people, “I have to make sure I get it right, I’m a perfectionist, you know!”
Guess what? Being a perfectionist is exhausting.
I remember the first day I realized that.
I had a to do list a mile long, I overbooked myself with clients (again), I had to clean my house (in a perfect way, of course), and I was supposed to meet my mom for lunch. I sat down on a curb outside, and just thought about all of it. I realized that I did this to myself. I wanted to please too many people, and keep up perfect appearances.
I looked perfect on the outside, but I was far from it. I was tired. I came to my breaking point. Something had to change. I would not live like that anymore.
Luckily, with age comes wisdom.
So, how did I get over the perfectionist mindset?
- I told myself it was OK to not be perfect (what a blow to my ego).
- I tried to stop living in black and white.
- I tried to be more creative.
- I stopped “shoulding” on myself. “I should always be happy.” “I should make sure my workout is perfect.”
- I allowed myself to make mistakes, AND realized that mistakes are great learning opportunities.
- I tried new things, not knowing if I would be good or “perfect” at them. Bonus, I have new hobbies like stand up paddle boarding, learning Spanish, and playing the ukulele.
- I forgave myself for my shortcomings. I will never be a good singer, and that’s fine! HA!
- I showed myself compassion instead of criticism.
Did all of this happen overnight? NO WAY!!!!!!!
It took a huge mental shift, and being proactive with my mindset to SLOWLY get over it.
Do I still have perfectionist tendencies? Of course! My clients know by the way I keep equipment, notes, and programs. But now the perfectionist mindset doesn’t rule my life. Thank goodness!
|ACTION STEP: Do you have any perfectionist tendencies? Are they serving you well? What’s one small thing you can change this week if they’re not?|